She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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