It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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