all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
