i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
