you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
