Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
