Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
