I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
