If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
