But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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