Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
