Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didn't shave. On purpose
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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