All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
