did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
