Dual....:-)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize