yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
