She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
