I wish you could order shots online.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
