I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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