so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
