Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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