Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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