just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
