you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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