New low: just hacked my moms facebook
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
