Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
