I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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