seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
