bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
