O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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