U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, beer. Big fan.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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