Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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