ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
This house was built for laser tag.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
