too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
