Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
