dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
