so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
