I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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