By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I need a beard to bite.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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