it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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