I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
