it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
