You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
