Cold hands, warm shart.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
