im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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