dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
