I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
