wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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