Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize