No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
