i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
