well you can't waste a boner
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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