I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize