she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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