Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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