member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
