If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
