Your tits are I can't wait for
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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