ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
