I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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