sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
