there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
