yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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