I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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