My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
