But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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